I want to touch her face

I want to touch her face. I want to give her that familiar bear hug, dig my chin in her neck and hear her laugh hysterically. I want to hold her hand and squish her little nose. I want so much to have her back that it hurts, and at times it feels desperate and overwhelming. This feeling of loss is beyond description. I’m heartbroken. Like many have said, it’s ok to not be ok and it’ll be a while before every day doesn’t feel like I’m fighting to keep my head above water. Yesterday marked a month without Madison. I’ve been able to laugh at the memories I have of her and smile with friends and family because let’s be honest, she was hilarious. Much of the time it was unintentional. It was just her way, her joy, her personality. This video of an assignment she had to present is one of my favorites because it helps me remember the way she was in all her glory all the time. I miss her so much.