My hands were on Madison’s face and I was kissing her forehead when her heart stopped forever. I looked up to see a nurse turning off the machines and I asked the doctor if she was gone. He nodded silently as I came to terms with the realization that we had lost our baby girl. I don’t know how to do this life without her. I just don’t understand because how could I? She had been hyper and happy less than a day before. I know others have experienced loss like this. I don’t pretend to be the only one who has ever felt this pain. I just cope better when I write it all out because it’s too hard to keep it inside. I can’t breathe if I do. A parent isn’t supposed to lose a child. I’m supposed to be taking care of her as long as I live. This hurts too much sometimes.
